Waltz of the Disappointed

My English is bombing, sigh.

No I’m not being spazzy and all, I’m not that frickin annoying. It IS bombing. So I got back my results today and I went O_O HOMFGWDF and then T_T and ._. . In case you were wondering, the last emoticon represents bitter acceptance.

Most people’d probably go ”EH BUT YOU PASS WHAT!!!!! WHY SO SAD NOT LIKE YOU FAIL RIGHT”, but you gotta be in my shoes to understand leh. See ah all along your English standard has always been of a different, a higher calibre. And suddenly BOOM it drops to average. Stop being sucha stuck-up perfectionist? I’m not being a damn perfectionist, do you honestly think I give a rat’s ass about studies? I dunno it’s just frickin disappointing to me I feel so ee mo. Average, god damn effing average.

HOW IS IT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME?! My other results are already messed up as it is, scraping passes and amazing failures, of course all my hopes are banked on my English!

Heartbreak cannot be silenced :(

What is wrong with me?! Even my English was way better for my previous years! Now? Pfft it’s like of some commonplace standard, hopefully not lower. I can’t regain my skills once it’s gone leh.

Sigh…

Screw this shit.

Anyhow…

*tries to get on the brighter side*

This familiar feel of heartache is back again. And no it’s not related to my English at all, that’s damn gay.

Fuck no I don’t want to be in a R/S again, I had enough I’m extremely carefree like this, I definitely don’t need love!

Dear God, please tell me my senses are wrong, please tell me I’m thinking too much, please tell me this is just a nightmare…

Maybe it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have gave off all the wrong signals, I shouldn’t have been so open-minded.

;_;

And nuh it’s not me in love, my heart is far more content when I’m not messing with that shit.

….

KX, poke me when you’re online. Tell you more bout this shit.

I need someone to tell me that I’m thinking too much.

I don’t want to mull over this shit every day and night, I effing do not want to.

What can I say,

I regret.

I admit I can’t bring myself to talk to you, I don’t know why but…

Yeah.

Sometimes I just don’t want to think bout it, sometimes I realize that I’ve to face reality and the consequences of my own actions, sometimes I feel I’m frickin stupid.

I really am loose :(

This is becoming quite depressing, haha.

~Sorrento